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Home again
I’m at home again, finally…. Ahhhhhhh. Breathe……..
It feels so good. I don’t know how I could have forgotten - this …
It’s so different. And I love it. Once again I have no defined edge that encloses around me, nothing forcing me to be just one thing to the world. But all my loves and all my inspirations are alive again and I feel alive again and awakened like I don’t feel there. But I feel alive and electric there in a way that is different from here too. What a pull of my mind between two so different worlds. So indulgent in each and unable to bridge the 3,000 or so miles in my mind as well as the planes that take me around. Experience is the most wonderful thing – you think you know so much until it surprises you and reveals something so unexpected. Something that can make such subtle and profound changes inside of you, and in your perspective and in the small spaces between your spine and in the small spaces somewhere under your diaphragm and surrounding your stomach. In the cells that sense your own limbs, that feel a little more alive – and a little more aware of something that faded away with the crowds. When a mind is inundated with forceful and persuasive signs, it must become a little numb, and perhaps that I’m waking from my fast paced-hibernation to a place where I can breathe and smile and I hear and see and I feel and I laugh… and I know,,….
I love home. I love the not thinking… the automatic, and the freely flowing right through the middle of me exchanges of simple breezes and pleasant low toned fully ripe phrases. I love the opening up of my mind to things long past and overdue. To the parts of myself that have drowned out in the world’s effort to categorize me neatly. I am so impressed at the renaissance person that I have forgotten I am multi-faceted and new .. the collections of my life’s time though short yet, remind me of whooping dreams and glorious eye-shining- bright inclinations that led me to places that I had never been both in and on the outside of me. Long hours of intense determination dripping out of my soul and onto a fine paper, out of a fine brush, out of my sweat and into my eyes with lots of mud and ice. Out of my soul as it tromped from here and there and picked up lovely scars and proud lines of deep patience. Silence and magic… hits and armor… muscle and sinews I feel once more and wonder where they had gone to and why I lack them so when I cross out of this yard. What energy runs through this melodious river bed of eclectic tones, I have been away too long and almost reluctant to return and so I face now my ignorance as I was fooled by the lack of pleasure true to my being, and now I return…..
I’m at home again, finally…. Ahhhhhhh. Breathe……..
KLR
12:22pm (comp says 9:20- west coast time)
June 25, 2005
I’m at home again, finally…. Ahhhhhhh. Breathe……..
It feels so good. I don’t know how I could have forgotten - this …
It’s so different. And I love it. Once again I have no defined edge that encloses around me, nothing forcing me to be just one thing to the world. But all my loves and all my inspirations are alive again and I feel alive again and awakened like I don’t feel there. But I feel alive and electric there in a way that is different from here too. What a pull of my mind between two so different worlds. So indulgent in each and unable to bridge the 3,000 or so miles in my mind as well as the planes that take me around. Experience is the most wonderful thing – you think you know so much until it surprises you and reveals something so unexpected. Something that can make such subtle and profound changes inside of you, and in your perspective and in the small spaces between your spine and in the small spaces somewhere under your diaphragm and surrounding your stomach. In the cells that sense your own limbs, that feel a little more alive – and a little more aware of something that faded away with the crowds. When a mind is inundated with forceful and persuasive signs, it must become a little numb, and perhaps that I’m waking from my fast paced-hibernation to a place where I can breathe and smile and I hear and see and I feel and I laugh… and I know,,….
I love home. I love the not thinking… the automatic, and the freely flowing right through the middle of me exchanges of simple breezes and pleasant low toned fully ripe phrases. I love the opening up of my mind to things long past and overdue. To the parts of myself that have drowned out in the world’s effort to categorize me neatly. I am so impressed at the renaissance person that I have forgotten I am multi-faceted and new .. the collections of my life’s time though short yet, remind me of whooping dreams and glorious eye-shining- bright inclinations that led me to places that I had never been both in and on the outside of me. Long hours of intense determination dripping out of my soul and onto a fine paper, out of a fine brush, out of my sweat and into my eyes with lots of mud and ice. Out of my soul as it tromped from here and there and picked up lovely scars and proud lines of deep patience. Silence and magic… hits and armor… muscle and sinews I feel once more and wonder where they had gone to and why I lack them so when I cross out of this yard. What energy runs through this melodious river bed of eclectic tones, I have been away too long and almost reluctant to return and so I face now my ignorance as I was fooled by the lack of pleasure true to my being, and now I return…..
I’m at home again, finally…. Ahhhhhhh. Breathe……..
KLR
12:22pm (comp says 9:20- west coast time)
June 25, 2005
posted by KLR at 12:22 PM
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