Thursday, December 30, 2004

Finding #2

http://www.pcmag.com/article2/0,1759,12899,00.asp

these articles are interesting. i have only been a "blogger" for less than an hour and already i am ashamed! :)
hmmmmm. okay let's see. vanity. yep, i can see that as being an obvious assumption. Ego gratification. Antidepersonalization. Elimination of frustration. Societal need to share. Wanna-be writers.

Hmmm. What about curiosity? Relaxation? I wonder why people keep any kind of journal, let alone an online journal. When I was young i started a journal, my mom gave me my first one. i kept a journal off and on for years and years. all of it was uncensored (of course it was NOT on the internet for anyone to see). some of it, okay - 75% - was hellish adolescent confusion that is irrationale to anyone who is not an adolescent. it was interesting to learn my uncensored self. uncensored from company, or expectation. these days i hardly have time to breathe, or think. that's why i thought this might be a good idea. sometimes after being busy all day, and inundated by all kinds of things beating for attention from all my senses, it feels good to be quiet and let my thoughts return to the natural fumbling way that they go from one thing to another without any prompting. then i take a breath and think about what is really important in life. I mean, i ask myself - what is really important? when i am old and gray and unable to do much for myself or others. when my health is failing and all i have time to do is sit... what will i think is important in the world? what will i wish i would have spent more time paying attention to? what will i wish i would have spent more time ignoring? despite sounding depressing, it's really more of an uplifting idea to me. becaue i'm not old and i have full ability to direct my life, pay attention to what's important. i want room to breathe and think. i'm busy just like the rest of the world, but one thing i've learned is that there will never be time, unless you make it.

i think it's important to breathe, to think about what matters, and to make time for what really matters in life. i suppose it will be different for anyone.

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