weekend... end

saw Joan of Arc this weekend. a silent film with french (& english) subtitles. extraordinary what they were doing with cinematography in 1920's - i recommend. afterwards i had to brush up on my Jean d' arc history and realized that she was quite an incredible individual - her military 'career' fighting for the french against the british was impressive, and it seemed from what i read that her trial and death were incredibly political and tainted with corruption of the factions persecuting her. the movie is based on actual documentation of the trial. also saw March of the Penguins, a national geographic documentary that is amazing! i had never heard anything, especially anything of detail, about the courtship and parenting rituals of penguins. it's an impressive look and was intriguing partly because people actually accomplished filming this behavior in the natural (freezing cold, no sun, no anything) habitat.

saw Indigo Girls and their openers, Girlyman - the entire show ROCKED! the most positive vibes and great energy. the harmonies were beautiful, voices strong, presence strong and sure, it's amazing to watch 2 souls that are so perfect together and have actually found each other in this world. there's something so certain in their songs and in their singing, that i it sets the world back on course and where it should be for the moment, and whatever lost feeling you have, goes away, and you find your way again. i'm so happy that i have finally seen them perform live after all these years. truly a cathartic experience. damn they're good! Girlyman was awesome too. I was so impressed by the strength that was in their songs and their presence & voices, and they are so young yet! really talented and just plain cool people.

on another note, went to ikea and made another attempt to cheaply improve my living space :) i do love those trips and the small luxuries that make me feel more at home. went to the beach for a bit, could stay there forever. now it's the wee hours of monday morning when i should be back to sleep, but of course i'm somewhere awkwardly between wide awake and overtired. rearranged some furniture and feels good to sit on the couch by the window and hear the birds outside and feel the light breeze come in and brush my skin :) we have 2 additions to our household - Charlotte- a very pretty hanging spider plant, and Placido, a green and white caladium. hope they like it here.

well, over and out. but first, Aunt Fima you're in my prayers and I pray that you aren't suffering and that you keep a strong will and know how much you're loved by all of us. I hope you pull through this and I see your smiling face come December.
Amen.

"...on Reason & Passion..."

Your reason and your passion are the rudder and the sails of your seafaring soul.

If either your sails or our rudder be broken, you can but toss and drift, or else be held at a standstill in mid-seas.

For reason, ruling alone, is a force confining; and passion, unattended, is a flame that burns to its own destruction.

Therefore let your soul exalt your reason to the height of passion; that it may sing;

And let it direct your passion with reason, that your passion may live through its own daily resurrection, and like the phoenix rise above its own ashes.

- Khalil Gibran “The Prophet”

- from “STRESS” by Hans Selye (1950)

To those who – in their efforts for good or evil, for peace or war – have sustained wounds, loss of blood or exposure to extremes of temperature hunger, fatigue, want of air, infections, poisons or deadly rays.

To those who are under the exhausting nervous strain of pursuing their ideal – whatever it may be
To the martyrs who sacrifice themselves for others, as well as to those hounded by selfish ambition, fear, jealousy, and worst of all by hate.

For my stress stems from the urge to help and not to judge.

But most personally, this book is dedicated to my wife, who helped so much to write it, for she understood that I cannot, and should not, be cured of my stress but merely taught to enjoy it.

exhale....

so now i've passed the qualifying exams for the PhD in neuroscience. whew. would have never thought i'd end up in southern calif. studying of all things, neuroscience. Damn is it a good time though. :)

onto a more sombering thought....
Yesterday there was an attack to London and people were hurt and killed. people that were going about their day just as they always do. and then the world around them erupted. just as it did for us on 9/11. and it did for Spain a year ago. less than 24 hours after a joyous announcement that London would host the Olympics. I've never been to Europe yet. Alan recommends to go, says it's the best city there is. I hope I see it someday. I hope all those people that are hurt become better.

I read a book called We Wish to Inform You That Tomorrow We Will Be Killed With Our Families. the author is Philip Gourevitch, and I recommend it highly. I wanted to see the movie Hotel Rwanda, but haven't yet, so i thought i'd read up on it first. i learned a lot from the book and it was as intriguing to me as The Future of Peace has been. The authors amaze me at the peril they put their lives in to discover these incredible stories and speak to such faraway and incredible individuals. i am increasingly taking to an interest in history and the powers that have created it. so far, the things that i learn speak of such truly human struggles. struggles of power and of morality, and the struggle towards humility and restraint. the struggles of love and hate, of anger and hurt, and the struggle of forgiveness and healing. the interactions between nations - the wrongs and the rights done to one another... the quarrels and the alliances... the power and dominance and the vulnerability and misjudgements... they are a grand macrocosm of any playground, any high school class, any corporate ladder, any social hierarchy. is it true that they are a shocking, and extreme magnification of what we all face individually in our lives? i don't say this to take away from the horror that occurred in Rwanda, nor do i wish to state it in any way as comparing that experience to anything i and many i know have encountered. i guess i just get over emotional when i read of things that stir up contemplative feelings juxtaposing the beauty of our highest hopes and dreams with the tragedy of our deepest failures as human beings. these are things that i believe we all share, so that it seems we are all at once blessed and cursed.

I purchased a second book entitled A People Betrayed: the role of the west in rwandas genocide. the author is Linda Melvern. she includes references and so i am interested to know how the two stories match up. i have yet to read Kiterunner for the next book club meeting. the other girls really like it and so i'm excited to read it.

I was at home for 10 days, visiting my parents. i love being home so much. the very house gives off such a comforting and steadfast feeling. something in the way that it is kept... something in the care given to detail... it was good to see everyone and i miss them and wish they were closer. i was going through a bit of soul searching these past few weeks. it's always difficult to confront yourself with yourself. and wonder if you'll look back and wish you did more for the world. i think i am settled back to a place that I can breathe and think straight and see the path i'm taking more clearly again. it's awful that you have to go through the worry just to come back to where you left and look ahead with confidence and let go of fretting about whether you will fail, and instead just living and trusting that as long as you keep moving and stop worrying you'll do everything you want and need to do.

it's a good time in my life. i'm living out my dreams and i'm lucky enough to be young and recognize it and enjoy it.
i wish everyone had this experience too. on July 2, 2005 my father's 65th birthday party was going on, and so was the Live 8 concerts around the world. i have a great admiration for those fortunate people that are living their dreams and take advantage of their power to do good things for the world. it must be a truly wonderful life.

well, over and out for now..